Disclosure Date
An Out of This World Relationship
“I’m a Nordic.”
“I don’t think that’s how people from Sweden say it, sweetheart.”
“No. That’s not what I mean.” I pushed the champagne flute away and waved off the waiter. Privacy was paramount. It was the reason I reserved the outdoor patio. “I’m not of this Earth.”
“Tell me about it.”
I smirked with a single corner of my mouth. The Mediterranean continued crashing against the rocky shoreline to our right. Its percussion was perfectly timed. “Can you not be charming for two seconds? I’m trying to be serious right now. My home planet is located in the Pleiades star cluster.”
“I thought you said your parents were from Stockholm?”
My desire to lunge across the table intensified. “Yes, that is the story I was required to sell you, but I’m actually here on an interplanetary peacekeeping mission.”
Mark seemed to be taking it in stride. “Drew the short straw, did ya? Did they not debrief you about the history of humanity before you boarded the saucer?”
I launched a wadded-up cloth napkin at his face. The projectile exploded in every direction upon impact.
“Look, I legitimately didn’t expect to fall in love with a foreigner,” I acknowledged, “but what’s done is done. I thought I would be here a few decades to permanently decommission your nuclear stockpile and then return home. But you’re the first person I’ve ever dated that I can see myself building a future with, and I want it to be here. Earth is my home now. You’re my home.”
“We’ve been seeing each other for eighteen months and you’re just now alerting me to your schizophrenia?”
He was right. Delaying the inevitable always ruined the ultimate reveal. It was time to get down to brass tacks. I placed both palms on the tabletop and politely smiled at my paramour.
“Can you hear me right now?”
My mouth wasn’t moving.
“Hello…hello…hello…” I modulated each subsequent iteration of the echo inside his head with diminishing decibels.
“Stop it,” he said. “How the hell are you doing that?”
“Would me being human somehow make this less extraordinary for you?”
The implication was clear for my concubine. “Have you been reading my mind this whole time?”
I searched the stars for an appropriate response. “I mean, not the whole time…”
“Tina!”
My head nodded in opposition. “Actually, it’s Telu-Yavar. Technically. My surname is seventy-three random digits. I don’t expect you to memorize it. You can still call me T, though. All three of my fathers do.”
Mark’s eyes darted across my face. “So, what do you actually look like, then?”
“We’re beings of pure energy. You know Cocoon? Those were my cousins. Taking a biological form is purely for your benefit.”
“Thanks for thinking of us.”
“You do get dual citizenship if we ever tie the knot. My planet’s at permanent war with every surrounding galaxy, but the beaches are still pretty spectacular.”
Our attendant returned. “Can I get either of you anything else? Another glass, perhaps?”
My partner was ever the comedian. “Do you have a Neuralizer handy?”
“Oh, hold on, I’ve got one in my purse.” I began rifling through the contents of my handbag. When my attention returned to the table, I caught the look of terror emanating off Mark’s face. I pointed the finger at our third wheel.
“We’re going to need it for him, anyway.”
Mark offered the server a flat smile. “Could we see the dessert tray, please?”
“Very good, sir.” Paolo put on the afterburners and bounced.
My bag was returned to the brickwork floor. I brushed the air with the back of my hand.
“We’ll take care of it when he brings the check.”
The churning sea was the only sound for a few seconds. Mark’s glare was giving off heat. The discomfort finally forced me to restart the conversation.
“What?”
“When were you going to tell me?”
I squinted and surveyed our surroundings before issuing my response.
“Now?”
He shook his head back and forth in disbelief. “This is so like you. I’m always the last to know. Everything between us is topsy-turvy. We were talking about starting a family, T.”
His comment caused me to bite my lower lip. “Yeah, we should probably talk about how that works on my planet.”
Mark slowly leaned his entire upper body across the table. “Why?”
I did my best to offer a reassuring smile. My index finger put a bullseye on his belly.
“Because you’ve got a bun in the oven.”